I need a break. I need time without my children to be with myself. I need time......
I'm becoming overwhelmed with school, my house, the girls and their schedules, this pregnancy, and all of the commitments we have made. I've got loads and loads of laundry to do, three books to read, a 4 page paper due Thursday that I haven't even started. I've got a Sunday School lesson to go over. And I'm just exhausted. I haven't showered in 3 days, I'm sick, I'm hungry, I'm grouchy, I'm just overwhelmed.
I'm loosing myself. I don't fix my hair anymore, I don't even hardly dewrinkle my clothes, I make quickie meals instead of "real" food, my homework isn't being done until the last minute and it isn't being done well. I suddenly feel very alone. I feel no support for the birth of this child, I feel little support for our family. I've also lost focus on friends, which makes me feel even more isolated. I'm just having a bad day.
Justin's going to watch Jeff Fischer (the head coach of the Tennessee Titans) do something tonight so of course he won't be home until after we all go to bed. I am not going to class tonight because I just don't have the energy.
Ok I'm stopping now. Things are fine I just need a break.......but I won't get one for at least......two weeks. God keeps giving and I'm so thankful for all that I have, and all that I don't have and all that will and won't come. He's good and I need to replace faith in him controlling my daily life.
I still would like some time to myself though ;)
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I don't know why I'm so worthy. I don't know why I'm so blessed or so loved. I'm so thankful!!!
After I posted this blog and e-mailed my professor about missing class I started feeling very sick. And I mean sick sick! I couldn't move and the girls were awake. So I called Dad and he was at home and agreed to watch the girls until I could get my stomach settled. My sister agreed to come pick them up. Mom then called and decided to keep the girls overnight. Maddy has a doctor's appointment in the morning and I am going to pick them up in time for mom to go to work and for Maddy's appointment.
When I have a need it seems to always be met. Not all of my wants are given (which is beyond ok) but all of my needs are met. I was just complaining about needing time and now I have it. And you know what I'm going to do first?!?! SHOWER haha and then do my homework!!
I'm so blessed, and now I have to figure out how to further glorify God????? Praise Him!
~Blessings~
1 comment:
Perhaps you should step back and take a breath and think about what could be eliminated from your life that is causing undue stress. You must take care of the baby you are carrying. Is school important right now? Is working important right now? Think about the time you could have if you just gave up one of those. You would still have the girls but not having homework or the added work of preparing lessons for school. Take time to breathe and prioritize you commitments. You have to put God first, then your duty as a wife and mother. Can those be fulfilled if you are stretched so thin? You are in my prayers. Rely on God to carry you though.
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